Artizen

Diet: Omnivore
Danger Level: 9
Social Ability: 20

Observation: This is the first file I’ve come across that indicates an intelligent alien race. It was apparently deemed classified 70 years ago, and with my publication of this file will be the first public admission that there is life outside of our own!

According to this very thick file, this creature stands at an average height of 6 feet from head to toe. If you include the large feature protruding from the top, its height is close to 8 or 9 feet! The large, naturally formed head wear is composed of organic plants from which they draw solar energy from. This probably explains their rather slim figure, as their planet has two suns that light the surface. The second sun is a planet that is very close to the larger sun and is in the process of melting.

Both males and females have jewels embedded in their chest. While anatomically these jewels function as their heart, it also helps when they emote. It tend to change colors depending on their mood. It also helps identify gender. Males have a slightly blue hue, while females have a pink hue. To find a broken or shattered jewel on a creature means that it has experienced extreme heartbreak or stress, and creatures with a broken jewel die within the week in a very painful fashion. Or, at least, it is assumed that it is very painful, as those with broken jewels are seen crying uncontrollably until their deaths.

The race is very ritualistic in these matters of death. They will often come together as a community and make the dying as comfortable as possible. If they are able to achieve a smile from the dying member, the ritual is considered a success. They believe to die happy is a good death and you’ll be immediately ushered into paradise because of it. Again, this is implied, as there is a large red post-it note saying that the reporter made a false assumption based on their own religious creed.

Outside of the death rites, the race is also very social. They love to sing and dance. The most elaborate of these are reserved for the spring courtship season where they give into their primitive urges to mate and reproduce. Similar to peacocks on Earth, the males must put on an elaborate show in order to attract a mate. What’s interesting is that mating pairs are not strictly male-female pairings. Male-male couplings have been documented during the three-week-long season on more than one occasion. The race celebrates these pairings more than the traditional ones, mostly for their artistic displays if nothing else. When a male-female coupling does occur, the two are mates for life and not only produce the next generation, but pass on their skills in the arts as well.

They’ve developed their own hierarchy of art skill. While all are equally celebrated, many strive and often attempt to find a mate that is a member of the most desired art skill within the race: dance. Their native dance is similar to classical ballet at the most revered level, but it is clear that other genres of dance have been introduced into their culture. When throwing parties, which they do quite often, their dances resemble that found in contemporary rap music videos. The file calls describes them as "primitive gyration of the hip and buttock." Kind of hard to believe that an alien race essentially founded hip-hop before us Earthlings. Other dance genres this race has mastered include jazz, tap, swing, and ballroom dancing which is exclusively performed by male-female couples before conceiving their young.

Their native language consists of clicks, tweets, and croaks in a Mores Code like structure. Their singing ability, however, gives them the unique ability to mimic other languages that they believe is actually music instead of spoken words. However, learning a new language for them is a long process due to the fact that they treat it as if it is a new music genre.

It seems unfortunate that the person who discovered this creature has had their named blacked out by magic marker in the file. And being that it is dated from so long ago, I doubt anyone working here would know who originally reported this. A real shame, as this is one fascinating race of aliens to report about.

~Zeek Slider